Chapter 4: Wherein it begins to get remotely interesting.
Later that day, Janet left work. This is something she would do fairly often, as working perpetually for eternity would
be slightly exhausting.
She stood in the Waffle House parking lot, unlocking her car. Through some twist of fate, be it clumsiness or tired
fingers, she dropped her keys. The tiny crash of the keys hitting the pavement was followed closely by the dull thud of
her head accidentally hitting the car door as she bent to pick them up, and then the loud bang of a bullet being fired
from a nine millimeter handgun, and finally the light splatter of the inner parts of Janet’s head taking their leave of her
and meeting with the car door.
Janet blacked out for a little while after this.
Janet’s eyes slowly opened. She felt numb.
“Wha... What’s going on?”
“You’ve been killed.”
Janet blinked. She looked around, seeing her brains splattered on the side of her car. She became inexplicably
“Killed? But I’m...”
“Yes, you’re not exactly dead. I saw to that.”
“Who are you?”
“You are what?”
The voice from nowhere sighed, and Janet found herself facing a penguin.
“It is not for you to know.”
It was at this point that Janet emptied the contents of her stomach onto the ground. She did not remember having
that sort of reaction to a small, flightless bird ever before.
“Never mind that. I am giving you a purpose.”
“Some things are to be done. You are to try and stop them from being done.”
“Yes. You will fail. That is not the point.”
“Don’t worry about it. You will know what to do when the time comes.”
With that, the penguin disappeared. Janet picked herself and her keys off of the ground, opened her car, started
it, and began driving home. Glancing in her rearview mirror, she noticed a large bullet hole in her forehead. She
decided it may be a good idea to start wearing a hat.